The 3 Second Pause
A couple of days ago, I was in a virtual meeting with hundreds of strangers.
The presenter, who was a very high level and well-known leader in his field, asked a question during his presentation.
He said: “This is the interactive part of the presentation. What is blank?” It felt a little bit like Jeopardy… but anyways.
I thought to myself: “I don’t know the answer to this question.”
Meanwhile, people are just throwing words that don’t seem to make any sense.
I’m thinking: “That’s not what he’s looking for.”
Then the presenter gives us a clue: “Well, the word that I am looking for starts with an M.”
I pause for a bit. About 3 seconds later I say: “Medium!”
Mind you: I unmute myself, and scream as if I had won the lottery: “Medium!!”
All of those 500 people are talking over each other. He pauses and says: “Whoever said that, you’re right: Medium!”
He goes on to ask: “What is a Medium?”
I try to explain as I am still trying to recover from what had just happened: “What?! I just got this answer right, in a (virtual) room with 500 people I’ve never seen in my life, AND English is my second language. Mindblown.
I think playing word games like Scrabble helps you in the long run. Shameless plug. :)
So I’m thinking: “This is really dope!”
This happens to me sometimes. Something in my brain, in my heart, in my gut — somewhere in my body, mind, spirit, tells me that I know the answer for something. Or that I should do something.
It’s what I like to call The 3 Second Pause.
It is those seconds after I heard that question, processed it, and realized I knew a potential answer. Then I confidently shared it out.
Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.
I remember once, in pre-COVID times, when I went to the birthday party of a friend who absolutely loves Jeopardy.
She creates personalized Jeopardy games for her friends to play during her birthday celebrations. The most incredible thing. Ever.
I was sitting there with my team, reading questions about sitcom references, and things that I didn’t know anything about. I felt like I needed to contribute to my group’s score. So, the competitive person within me became really focused, looking at the screen, and thinking: “Let’s at least try to answer something correctly.”
Then I saw this picture of a big honeycomb shaped building, and the question referred to something “newly created in New York City.” I paused for 3 seconds, (clapped, following the game rules) and answered: “The Vessel!”
Since I had recently visited it for the first time, it made sense that I would remember its name. But at that moment, The 3 Second Pause applied.
I thought to myself: “I know the answer.” I said it, and it was right!
You can call its outcome whatever you like: Joy, Endorphins.
At the end of the day it’s about getting that feeling of reward after taking a risk.
And that’s just phenomenal.
Some of the scariest and most rewarding things to do as a human being.
Sometimes those things are little, like getting an answer wrong in front of your friend’s friends. Feeling a little awkward. But, hey! Getting something wrong in a (virtual) meeting with 500 people is less embarrassing than getting it wrong live while sitting in a room surrounded by those people in real life.
There can be so many examples of The 3 Second Pause.
(I actually don’t believe they actually last for 3 seconds, I just like calling it that.) :D
My point is, I’m inviting myself and inviting you to do the same reflection.
“What are the pause moments in your life? In your hours, days, weeks, and months, when you feel that there’s something epic about to happen?”
Sometimes The 3 Second Pause means asking a baby a question, and hearing them replying with the wrong word.
And you are pausing for 3 seconds to see what’s coming. They may say a new word, or mispronounce their answer. But then the two of you just laugh together.
Or is it when you are going up on a rollercoaster?
You go up, up, up, and you know that whatever goes up needs to come down. You’re going to get butterflies, and scream. But those 3 seconds of hold, when you question “why am I doing this to myself?” and “Why did I wait in line for this?,” are full of wonder. The rollercoaster finally goes down, and you feel joy, and fear, and all these feelings at the same time… then you want to go again. And you realize why you went on that roller coaster.
Or when you cook it from scratch, and you taste to see if it came out as expected, after trying a recipe for the first time?
Or when you get off a plane, a boat, a car in a new place? You look around and think: “What kind of experience am I going to have here?”
Or those long seconds pausing…before telling someone you love them for the first time? Or even the 3 seconds of pausing when someone tells you that first and you are just digesting what that means… ❤
For me, having the presenter in this week’s meeting pause and exclaim in satisfaction that someone understood him was remarkable.
So I’m inviting you to look for those pauses in your hours, your days. In interactions with family, classmates, coworkers.
Ask yourself: “Where is the pause? And where can it take me?”
